Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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