My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
