operation have a gay friend backfired
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
A+ Viking dick
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
