but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
handjob tips. give me some.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i out mim tonsoeep
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize