is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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