Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize