dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize