Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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