This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
