if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
