Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
