i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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