I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
too bad you live with your parents still
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
