I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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