Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?

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(703): View more from Virginia

had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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(207): View more from Maine

he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies

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(416): View more from Toronto

Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear

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(801): View more from Utah

He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across

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