1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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