Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i think i just lost a toe
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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