I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
