Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
