You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
