please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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