he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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