he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude i'm inner monologue high
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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