Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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