so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
