I accidentally had phone sex last night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
