i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
