Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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