I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
