piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
