Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
