sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She bit a glass in half.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
