Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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