In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize