Where are you?
In a non slutty way
high people should be assigned attendants
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
as a side note pls kill me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
