I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
