Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
