went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Who did Billy Mays play for?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
