your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
