Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize