First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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