its not stalking. its research.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
