Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
