I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
