Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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