i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
