I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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