Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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