I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
