i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
