how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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