people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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