This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
