I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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