paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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