Kiss
Puke
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
