WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have post one night stand depression
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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