i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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