dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
