The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
