that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
