yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
